PHS PERSPECTIVE: Opening new doors – for the last time

Nathan Drezner, Princeton High School
Just a few days ago, I walked into the locker room with the rest of the PHS team for the last time. I laced up my skates for the last time. Grabbed my gloves for the last time. Pulled on my jersey for the last time.
I didn’t know that would be it. We were walking into a tournament game, didn’t know much about the other team, and everyone was bouncing in the locker room. I wasn’t skating onto the ice ready for my last varsity game with this team I had been a part of for four years — far from it. I was walking on the ice just as wide-eyed and excited as I had the first game of freshman year, excited to be a part of the new adventure that every game brought.
And by no means was I prepared to walk off the ice an hour later, preparing to unlace my skates for the last time. The seniors on the team stood up, one by one, everyone giving their small words of wisdom to the team as we readied for the bus ride home.
We went around the room, giving hugs, shaking hands, smiling because we’d given the season our all, but nostalgic for the week before, when we walked into the locker room after beating Hopewell in the Mercer County Tournament quarterfinals — cranking “Sweet Caroline” in the locker room — or even for years before, when it wasn’t my last career game, but my last game of the season, when the other seniors were the ones giving those final speeches and hugs.
This wasn’t my first ending this year, and it’s far from my last. Just as hard as it was to say goodbye to my hockey team, it won’t be the hardest goodbye I’ll have to make. As a senior in high school, this is the first time I’ll really start leaving things behind, between my school, teams, clubs, and even my hometown come next fall. This is it for me, the last hurrah. This is it for the other 300 students in my grade.
While a lot of things in my (and plenty of other students’) future are up in the air, one thing is for sure: in six months, I’ll be starting entirely fresh. But what should I do with the time I have left? There are plenty of options. I could rush through it, powering on until I go to the next thing; take it one step at a time, relishing what I already have; or look into something different, taking advantage of the little time I have left.
I chose the latter. I’ve been trying out new things, exploring what I may never have tried in the past. I auditioned to host a PHS event, excited at the possibility of a stage presence I’ve never had the opportunity to test out. I’ve been looking for different ways to leave something behind at PHS as a member of Student Council: we’re trying to organize a new community event at the school, and looking into a senior gift. I’m trying to spread crosswords (of all things), a hobby I picked up over the summer, to as many people at PHS as I can by photocopying the Wall Street Journal and New York Times puzzles every morning. Just for kicks.
Even with endings on the horizon, I’d like to make the most of time I have left. I think it’s best not to just rush onto the next thing, but instead to soak in every moment that’s still here. Why? Joni Mitchell said it pretty well, albeit in a more literal way: “You don’t know what you’ve got ‘till it’s gone.”
Leaving the locker room that day, I had dinner with another player on the team and my brother. We smiled and laughed, even though we were disappointed by the loss.
Just as there were endings to leave behind, there were beginnings to look forward to. My brother, a freshman, will be playing his first season of lacrosse for the school, and I’m going to have my first season as a member of the track team. High school isn’t over quite yet. I’m looking forward to what’s in store. 
Nathan Drezner is a senior at Princeton High School. 