By: Maria Clemente & Larry Thompson with Integrated Care Concepts & Consultation
What does it mean to be in-sync? It’s a feeling we’ve all encountered when something feels just right. Many would define this concept as a system that is working well together. Our family is quite possibly the most important system we have. It’s our central system – our home base. Each environment in our lives presents us with another system to add to the mix. There is our work system, social system, school system, etc. An enormous part of our lives is spent on the systems outside of our home. When we arrive home, we’re often tired or frustrated from the natural pressures of managing our external systems. This begs the question, how much effort is devoted to our family system? We spend so much time trying to keep all the moving parts of our lives in-sync, that our central system may find itself out-of-sync. This could have a negative, systemic impact on all facets of our lives. When the family dynamic is suffering, it can result in an impairment of individual functioning.
Disconnect within families is a common experience. It’s a distinct feeling that causes a ripple effect throughout the family dynamic. The key to solving this problem is tending to its core. Start by zoning in on the family’s emotional climate. Is there a high level of expressed emotion or maybe a lack thereof? Family therapy can be a supportive tool in lifting the cloud of confusion and helping families reconnect. Here are some of the ways:
Mindfulness-Based Family Therapy: It is with this type of therapy that families gain the skills to put a space between their thoughts and their reactions. It teaches people to step outside of their emotional brain when heated in the moment.
Intentional Parenting: There are many ways to be a parent. One effective way is being the intentional parent. The skills learned here help parents to consciously and purposefully choose what would be best for their children, rather than being on “auto-parent” after a long day.
Loving on Purpose: In the 21st century with time demands, hyper-wired “screenagers,” and two-income homes, there is no time to love accidentally or occasionally. Loving on purpose is learning how to manifest the self you want your family to encounter – your best, true self, when it matters the most – during those short moments that the family is actually in the same room together.
