I am writing my own obituary because I do not want anyone writing things to make me more than I was. I’ve read obituaries that I know go far and above reality as I know it.
And with that, I’ll tell you I was one of the nice guys.
I tried to be considerate and honest and understanding of others. The “Golden Rule”, when I first heard it as a child, really impressed me and stayed with me all my life. Those few words just said it all to me. How wonderful the world would be if everyone simply followed those few words.
I did have a few other sayings I stood by. One was from Maya Angelou: “When someone tells you who they are, believe them.” Actually, I’ve always remembered it as ‘When someone SHOWS you who they are, believe them”. Just made more sense to me. “Actions speak louder than words”; another of my favorites.
Another little ditty that I got from a book of Alan Alda; “What if the ‘Hokey Pokey’ really is what it’s all about?” I almost fell down laughing when I read it. Just hilarious. And as I write this I’m still wondering!
Anyway, I have to hurry and finish this obituary before I die and someone beats me to it.
At about 4 years old, I was sitting on the couch on East State Street, Trenton, NJ, watching a parade go by. My 11 years older sister marched twirling a baton and leading a big brass band. I was thrilled at the sight and sound. I told my mother I wanted to twirl the baton and march with the band. So they gave me lessons and I happened to be very good and ended up with about 150 trophies and a couple hundred medals from baton contests and twirled the baton and marched with bands on into my teens. Even marched with the MacGregor Scottish Pipe band a few times. Even wore the Kilts. My father loved it. He came from Edinburgh, Scotland. (Accent and all.) I even performed on The Steel Pier in Atlantic City 3 or 4 weeks a summer from around age 11 to 16 twirling my batons. The Theatre on The Pier was called “Tony Grant’s Stars of Tomorrow”. I learned a lot about theatre there.
At around 8 years old, I decided I wanted to tap dance; again in the footsteps of my sister. They took me to the late great Helen Heed for lessons. (A shame no one reading this has ever heard of her.) She and her daughter were great women. They were immediately amazed that I could immediately do everything they showed me. I’ve always said that no one ever taught me how to dance. I just could. I’d guess that any professional dancer could say the same. You just basically have it in you somewhere, somehow, to copy movement. I just loved dancing ever since.
Then, around 15 years old, I started jazz and ballet lessons. Again, the teachers couldn’t believe I had never had ballet training. Lucky me, my jazz teacher, Ed Earle, was the choreographer at the old Lambertville Music Circus in Lambertville, NJ, and he made me an apprentice there, enabling me while still in Trenton Central High School, to dance in some Actors Equity level performances of “Gypsy” and “Bye Bye Birdie” and “West Side Story:
I graduated from Trenton Central High School, class of 1963. The following spring, I auditioned (my first professional audition) for Guber, Ford and Gross Music Fairs. They owned several theatres in the round. I loved doing theatre in the round. You were very close to the audience. I think it made you relate to them better. We toured from theatre to theatre for the summer. Oh yeah, the theatres were actually circus tents. Great experience. First tour was with a great, funny, FUNNY show called “Little Me”, starring Jack Carter and Kay Stevens. Second was “No Strings”, starring Diahann Carroll. They were all great performers and extremely nice people
After that whirlwind summer, I auditioned for the Tokyo touring company of “West Side Story”. Again, nailed the job! This was a big one. We had people from Broadway and even the (1961) movie.
NOTE: Chip took too long to write his own obituary, and therefore died before completing it. If you’ve ever heard him tell one of his many wonderful but long stories, you’ll understand just exactly how perfectly fitting that is.
At first, my brothers Ryan, Ian and I (his son, Cole) thought we should try to complete this obituary in the manner in which our father started it, but I honestly think that would dishonor his memory and one of the biggest lessons he taught his 3 sons: to think for, and be, ourselves.
And quite frankly, no one could tell a story like him anyway, so I don’t think we should even try.
So instead, I’d like to just touch on a couple of his life highlights, just as he said above he wanted it: without exaggeration for who he was or what he did.
My dad was a great tomato pie maker. He learned in the early 60s at a place he worked called Louie’s Tomato Pies in Trenton, NJ from a man who became a friend and mentor of sorts, Guido Luccarelli. He would often say that Guido was practically like “a second father to him”. He continued to make tomato pies for family and friends on special occasions and it is one of our family traditions that I’ll miss deeply.
He was also a dance teacher, and taught for many years in the 80s and 90s at his sister’s dance studio, The Liz Casale Professional Center. Aftwards, he went on to open his own school, The Chip Gentles Studio of Dance. I think this is an aspect of his life of which he didn’t fully understand the impact he had on others. He loved teaching the children, and I bet if you asked any of them today, they’d all remember “Mr. Chip” with tremendous fondness and say that his teaching left a lasting impact on them. That is not over-stating the case, it’s simply so.
But most importantly of all, he loved his family more than anything (which is really saying something considering how much he loved tomato pies). He loved our mother, Patty Ann, from the moment he saw her, and asked her to marry him on their first date. They loved each other for close to 57 years, and were married for close to 56. Their marriage and love was such that many members of our family (myself included), and even friends, looked to it as a relationship goal. A sign that true love exists, and can triumph over the struggles in life.
He was a very affectionate father as well. Hugs, kisses, holding our hands as children, and always making sure to tell us he loved us at every chance he had. We were never left with any doubt, and in turn, we never left him with any doubt that we loved him just as much.
But his heart was big enough for more than just his immediate family, and he loved his nieces and nephews, and grand nieces and nephews, and close friends as well. And, again, they loved him right back.
I don’t mean to say he was without flaws, and I’m quite certain he wouldn’t want me to. Had he finished writing this obituary, I am sure he would have listed many of them, and even perhaps been too harsh on himself, but what’s more important is that he was never above admitting his flaws, or above apologizing. If he believed he was wrong, he would say he was sorry. And that says more about him than any of his flaws.
The last thing I’ll say is that one of the last times I saw him, he said “My life was a miracle. I shouldn’t be here.” You see, he had rheumatic fever three times when he was a kid. In the 1950’s that was a deadly condition, or at the very least can weaken your heart. And yet, he survived it three times with no discernable lasting effects. But the point was, he was grateful to be alive, and for the love he found, gave, and was given.
And when he would talk about all of that love, his wife, his sons, his family, his friends, he would often say “I am one of the luckiest men to have ever lived.”
Our dad passed away peacefully at home with his firstborn son, Ian, and his loving wife, Patty Ann, by his side.
He is survived by his loving wife, Patty Ann; his sons, Ian, Cole, and Ryan; his daughters-in-law, Patricia and Diana; his brother, Butch “Buddy” Gentles and partner, Carol; his sisters-in-law, Cathy Magnolo and Linda Staggs and husband, Rusty; his brother-in-law, Dominic Magnolo and wife, Theresa; and his many nieces, nephews, and numerous other grand nieces and nephews. He is predeceased by his sister, Liz Casale and her husband, Bob; his brother-in-law, Danny Magnolo; his nephew, Patrick Magnolo; his niece, Patty Lee Gentles; his parents, Marie and Eddie Gentles; and his mother and father-in-law, Grace and Joe Magnolo.
P.S. He also loved football and the New York Yankees, Sinatra, and crossword puzzles.
“I Love you, Have Fun, Be Careful, and Be Good!” – Chip Gentles
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