A bond that has been created between two former strangers was recognized as a “powerful connection” when the pair was commended by the organization that matched what was once perceived as an unlikely duo.
Anthony Ursino, 32, of Freehold Township was honored alongside his Little Brother, Tajae, 17, at the annual Big Brothers Big Sisters of Monmouth and Middlesex Counties’ awareness and recognition event on Jan. 28 at Tommy’s Tavern+Tap, Sea Bright.
Ursino and Tajae were saluted for their strong and healthy relationship.
“I will stay with Tajae for life,” Ursino said in an interview following the event.
Big Brothers Big Sisters of Monmouth and Middlesex Counties says it “strives to make a positive difference in the lives of at-risk children through professionally supported 1-to-1 mentoring relationships with a caring adult volunteer, and to assist children in achieving their highest potential.”
Ursino has been a Big Brother to Tajae since the young man was 13. He said the teenager, who was once shy, is now a courageous young man who welcomes the guidance of an older confidant as he navigates his adolescent years.
Ursino said he became involved with the organization while he oversaw its golf outings at a local country club. He said the staff “was so amazing” each year that he eventually looked into becoming a mentor.
“I got to know the staff after a couple of years and thought ‘this makes perfect sense,’ ” Ursino said. “I met with the organization. The staff made the interview and application process so easy and inviting. I knew this is what I wanted to do.
“At first, Tajae seemed like he was not a good fit for me,” he continued. “I was really nervous because we had nothing in common, but then I remembered I didn’t do this for it to be easy. I figured I would rather jump out into unknown territory and meet someone from a whole different world.”
Ursino said when he met Tajae, the young man had specific interests in skateboarding and art. He said the teenager, at the time, was not interested in one of Ursino’s favorite pastimes – sports.
“Right off the bat I just didn’t know where to connect with him,” Ursino said. “I was just a sports-playing-never-rode-a-skateboard-in-my-life adult to him.”
Despite their differences, Ursino said the unlikely pair eventually realized they shared a similar sense of humor and had a shared interest in music.
Ursino said he admires Tajae for his willingness to “stand up for the underdog,” noting that this trait has not always served to his little brother’s advantage.
“Tajae kind of had a background of getting into fights. He’s not doing that anymore,” Ursino said. “But what people didn’t really realize is that he was always defending the person who was getting picked on. Growing up, he never had a positive role model.”
As time went on, Ursino said, the pair became comfortable with one another. Once Tajae realized Ursino was an adult worthy of his trust, they noticed they had more in common than they had first realized.
“Having grown up in sports, I knew there were great lessons to be learned,” Ursino said.
He said he nudged Tajae to pursue athletics and said the teen took his advice and now participates on basketball and football teams.
“He needed to be exposed to other kids and a coach in a structured setting,” Ursino continued, noting that as Tajae entered high school, “it became cool to play sports.”
Today, Tajae has great friends, steady relationships and is doing well in school, Ursino said, adding that Tajae “had an incredible transformation” over the past four years.
Asked about the importance of a teenager having a strong role model, Ursino said, “Part of the reason I participated in this program is because I was very lucky to have my parents as role models. I also have three older siblings. I always thought, ‘what if I didn’t have this support?’
“As I got older, I realized not everyone had (this support). Tajae has a couple of amazing role models, but he didn’t have a male role model he felt like he could bond with. Teenagers crave (support). They need a role model during those years. Teenagers often feel like they want to exemplify someone. I never thought about these things before I was a Big Brother,” Ursino said.
Ursino said the experience has grounded him.
“(This experience) is not that much of a time commitment as people think,” he said. “I think some people get nervous and think they don’t have enough free time to volunteer. But when you actually do this, you realize this program does not take a tremendous amount of time. You can be flexible and work around your own schedule.
“The other thing is the positive side of the program. I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything in the world. The impact I feel like I have had and the friendship and exposure into another person’s life, I think people need to make that jump. (Individuals considering mentoring) will be so grateful they did,” Ursino said.
Big Brothers Big Sisters of Monmouth and Middlesex Counties is seeking mentors for 72 children. Staff and volunteers are available to speak to service groups, companies and other interested parties about becoming a Big Brother or a Big Sister. For more information, visit bbbsmmc.org
