Elizabeth (“Betsy”) Elferink Cayer, 94, of Princeton, NJ, passed away at her home on January 6, 2025. She was born in Rochester, NY, on May 30, 1930, the eldest child of Dutch immigrants John Henry Elferink and Jellina Anna (Van Niel) Elferink. Betsy grew up in Rochester, where she attended local public schools as well as the Eastman School of Music Preparatory Department, where she studied piano, harp, cello, theory, and music history. She received her A.B. (with honors) from Vassar College in 1952 and her A.M. in English from Harvard University in 1955.
While at Harvard, Betsy met and married David A. Cayer, a fellow member of the Graduate Student Council, in 1953. Betsy later taught English at the Winsor School and Beaver Country Day School in the Boston area. Shortly after their daughter Susan’s birth in 1958, they moved to New Brunswick, NJ, where Dave started his career as an assistant professor of political science (and later a university administrator in many roles) at Rutgers University, while Betsy continued graduate study at Rutgers.
Starting in 1965, Betsy taught English at the Hartridge School, an independent K-12 school for girls in Plainfield, NJ, where her talent for school administration led to her appointment as principal from 1968 to 1976. She then guided Hartridge through a school merger with a local independent school for boys, becoming the associate head of the newly formed Wardlaw-Hartridge School. (A second merger also occurred from the two schools’ affiliation: Betsy and Dave’s daughter Susan met her future husband, Robert Stout, during their high school years at the not-quite-yet-joined schools!)
Betsy later continued her career in education administration at the New Jersey Department of Higher Education, with roles in the offices of Senior Institutions, Academic Programs, Academic Affairs, and State University and Professional Schools. Subsequently, she managed a federal grant program for Bloomfield College. She also worked as an independent educational consultant until her retirement in 2005.
As a committed volunteer, Betsy served over the years as a board member for the Wardlaw- Hartridge School, Rutgers Preparatory School (where she became board president), and the White Mountain School. She also founded and managed the Plainfield/Westfield YWCA chapter of the TWIN Program, designed to honor and advance women in business and industry.
After 44 years in Plainfield, Betsy and Dave moved to the senior community of Princeton Windrows, where they were both active participants. Betsy served on multiple committees, including Finance, Transportation, and Buildings and Roads. One of her favorite roles was as a writer, copy editor, assistant editor, and ultimately, associate managing editor of the quarterly community magazine Windows on Windrows. She also found meaning and connection in the Great Books and Great Decisions discussion groups. She and Dave co-taught classes on a favorite playwright, George Bernard Shaw, both at Windrows and the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute of Rutgers University (OLLI-RU).
Betsy and Dave shared a love of the arts, going regularly to classical and jazz concerts, ballet, theater, opera, and museums. They particularly enjoyed arts-related travel, with a special place in their hearts for their annual trek to the George Bernard Shaw Festival and International Shaw Society Symposium in Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario.
Betsy’s husband Dave passed away in November 2017. She is survived by her siblings Barbara Greenstein of Princeton, NJ, Dorothy Maples of Williamsport, PA, and George Elferink of West Orange, NJ; her daughter Susan Cayer (Robert Stout) of Madison, CT; grandchildren Amanda Stout (Kenzie Blondin) and Zachary Stout; and multiple nieces, nephews, and cousins. Betsy was incredibly loved and will be dearly missed by her family, friends, colleagues, and the many students whose lives she touched.
A celebration of life will take place at a later date. Contributions in her memory may be made to the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute of Rutgers University (olliru.rutgers.edu/donate) or to the Elizabeth E. Cayer Memorial Scholarship Endowment Fund at the Wardlaw-Hartridge School (whschool.org/endowment).
